I decided to write entries to journey the entire process of hospitalization. Let’s hope I keep through this being as real as I can be.

It has been 24 hours since we admitted Izzie to KKH for her surgery to correct the LPA sling. What has happened so far?

Izzie was warded at Children’s Tower Ward 55 Bed 23 yesterday. We went through the admission process, then answered some standard interview questions, went through ward orientation, talked with doctors and anesthesiologist. The ward MO tried doing ECG on Izzie but she cried badly, so they tried again this morning around 6am when she was asleep. They took blood tests in the ward treatment room and she came back crying, hair all over the place and eyes were red. She was ok during the chest X-ray. We went for ICU orientation as well. We were briefed what to expect.

How was the night? I stayed over at KKH with Izzie. She fell asleep close to 1am. I finished up a bit of work till 2am and went to sleep. Woke up at 3am because the baby next bed to Izzie cried very loudly. Izzie was also disturbed for a while but she went back to sleep. It was Izzie’s turn to cry very loudly at 4am. I carried her on me till about 5am and then I asked the nurse to give Izzie her last glucose drink. Her fast started at 2am and the last water intake was 6am.

At 715am I bathed Izzie with the antiseptic body wash provided by the nurse. At 8am they brought us down to the OT. Feng followed us and there she prayed for Izzie. Then only one parent could go into the OT waiting area with Izzie. I went. Soo Chee cried as his heart broke. I remained calm. I let Izzie play with a princess toy car at the waiting area.

She is one brave baby!

Then the medical staff just checked and confirmed name and that I know what is going on. We were guided into OT 11. It was a pleasant short walk as there were many beautiful murals. At the OT, the staff explained to me exactly what they were going to do and prepared me for what we were about to experience. It wasn’t new. Izzie and me went through this before when she did the bronchoscopy in July. They made Izzie feel at ease then gassed her. She went to sleep and the staff asked me to let go while two staff carried her from my lap to the bed. They guided me to exit.

I have been outside waiting since 830am. PAZ came around 12 plus to pray with us. It brought great comfort to us. Before he came, I wandered off on my own and found a spot at a garden. There I was just absorbing the song Victor’s Crown and praying. There I came to a place of brokenness. I needed God to be real, I needed to trust and I needed my own space to be myself. It is okay to cry.

Soo Chee and I just had lunch and we are back to waiting…