I’m trying WordPress app on my iPhone. Hopefully the accessibility of mobile blogging will encourage me to blog more often.
Here is a photo of 2YO #izzietod with her toy ducks at her favorite staircase.
This week is Izzie’s 4th time attending HK class on her own. She enjoys Children’s Church and I am proud of my babe for her independence. It used to be so challenging during the transition between nursery and HK. Finally, I can attend English service in main hall again. Thank you Jesus for giving me strength all these while.
Izzie is talking and singing more these days. It is heart-warming and amusing to listen to izzietod’s talk. 😀 I am proud of her milestones and happy that she is growing up!!
I REMEMBER
CITYWORSHIP / WORSHIP
VERSE:
I REMEMBER
HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOUR SPIRIT SETS ME FREE
CLOSER NOW THAN THE VERY AIR I BREATHE
I KNOW I BELONG TO YOU
I REMEMBER
HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU SPEAK INTO MY HEART
WHEN YOU WHISPER THAT WE’LL NEVER BE APART
I KNOW I BELONG TO YOU
CHORUS:
I WON’T FORGET HOW YOU CALLED ME BY NAME
I WON’T FORGET HOW YOU’VE COVERED MY SHAME
WHEN I AM LOST YOU FIND ME AGAIN
I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER YOU
I WON’T FORGET HOW YOU SET ME APART
I WON’T FORGET HOW YOU’VE CAPTURED MY HEART
EVERY MOMENT I LIVE I GIVE TO YOU
I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER YOU
BRIDGE:
EVEN WHEN THE STRUGGLES COME I WILL REMEMBER
YOUR WORD WILL NEVER CHANGE
NOTHING CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR HAND ON MY HEART
I WILL REMEMBER YOU
The lyrics of this song is so heartfelt. I will remember the God of my youth even in the lowest season of my life because He is good. I hold the hope of a breakthrough. As long as we hold on together as a family and to God, we will make it.
I know it is a heart issue and it needs to be brought into my relationship with God yet I chose to handle it on my own and walk in hurt and bitterness and that poisoned my soul. I am aware that my life now is a lot of wrong decisions and pushing people away from me. The people who stayed around till now are my true friends. I don’t want to push more people away. I want to continue to be a better Debbie everytime. I tried but have let bad experiences and emotions take over. I will try again. It will start from my marriage, then my family and my friends. It is my choice to choose love.
One thing I am proud of myself this year is really humbling myself to serve and letting them into my life. To go lunch with them and to be friends with them…was something unimaginable to me 2 years ago.
My mentor this many years ago: Don’t crucify a person just because of a small mistake and call it a grave sin. It is by God’s grace that we are where we are. Don’t be so quick to judge another, especially God’s children. I will remember when I am lost, God find me again. I love because He first loved me. Make love, not war. Help my heart, God.
Many parents whose firstborn is around Izzie’s age have already gone on to have another kid. I can’t deny the fact that I felt the pressure to have another baby. Yet I have always been hesitant because I am very happy with just one and because finances can be very stretching when another one comes along.
Now that Izzie is 26 mos, I am slightly more open and I shall allow God to do His work in His time and trust we will do alright. Financial management and financial abundance will come. I shall visualise and confess positively daily.
One of the reasons why I am more open is because one day while I was quietly observing Izzie playing, I thought to myself how nice it would be if Izzie has a sibling to be her playmate and her friend. A thought that I never entertained the past two years because of the demands of being new parents plus all the hospitalisations and leaves that I had to take.
“There is a certain grace and anointing that God gives to parents” – Danielle Ho
It has been so many months since I last blogged. I did mini updates on instagram instead. Izzie is turning 2 soon!! In 2 weeks!!
She surprised & impressed me on many occasions with the usage of new words & short sentences. She is also learning to hum songs now. She is reaching terrible two…actually she started ‘challenging’ me when she started walking at around 15 months but I shall confess terrific two! Ha! No matter how emotionally and physically challenging it can be, all it takes is a great big hug/kiss/smile from her to melt me.
The first half of 2014 has me dealing with a lot of transitions and questions and positioning. As we come to second half of 2014, I pray that 2014 will be the most awesome year. I pray that I will walk closer to God every single day and my relationships with family members and peers will be strengthened. Help my heart, o God.
I was down for close to 3 days last week. I had fever and ulcers in my throat, just one step away from being diagnosed as HFMD (coz there were no spots on my hand and feet). I had 38-39 degree fever for two days. I was so sick that I had to keep sleeping. Eating was excruciating because of the ulcers. I wasn’t used to it because I haven’t been sick for so long. Something I told myself since I had Izzie: I cannot be sick because I have to take care of her. I think it has kept me well for 18 months. 🙂 Powerful self-talk, me thinks. In fact, this is the first time I took Medical Leave with MC since I became a church staff.
Last week started with Izzie having fever on Monday . The baby doctor advised us to keep her home for a week. With my mom’s help in the mornings, I took half days (afternoon) off to take care of Izzie at home. By Wednesday, the virus hit me. My hubby took over…and by Sunday, he too was down with fever. Previously, he had throat infection when we came back from CNY celebrations in Penang. It was just a terrible week for the entire family. But I was glad I had my hubby’s & mom’s help. By the grace of God, we are all well now. Praise God!
Somehow it makes me happy that my girl gets excited about nature
It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.
February was a stretching month for me and the family in terms of finances, health and relationships. Personally for me in my marriage, I hit the crossroads. I realised the love we used to share died. Reality hits. My ball game isn’t just two people staying married. It’s a household with commitment to do housework and raising a child. It is not like drama drama sob sob story… I just came to this questioning: What do I do when love dies in a marriage or in the family? What if I don’t have to strength to do this anymore? My weekday starts at 6.30am and it may not always end at 2am. Sometimes, later.
As I began to align my thoughts with God and His Word, I began to embrace “That being in love is not an adequate foundation for building a successful marriage…. That commitment is the foundation of a marriage and commitment means allowing myself to be unhappy for a while until we work things out. I began to pray and I told myself…I have to learn to love again and the strength to love again comes from God. I can’t say we are the model couple/family. But I’m glad that today I am able to sing:
“I’m so happy, so very happy, I have the love of Jesus in my heart.”
And this week, I begin to read this book: Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman. I’m so blessed to find out that what we are going through is normal: we are transitioning to the next stage of romantic love. From euphoria (effortless, delight) to this 2nd stage which requires work in order to keep the emotional love alive. This stage involves the intentional work of demonstrating love through the 5 love languages.
Take the love languages quiz @ 5lovelanguages.com
I did something out of the norm & out of my comfort zone today. I made the initiative to meet up with my secondary school friend who happens to be working in Suntec and attending CHC. We haven’t caught up for a long while. I invited her and she came for my wedding and my daughter’s first month celebration. But of course those celebrations weren’t a good time to catch up.
It was refreshing hearing from her. Basically what’s happening in her life. I am glad she started serving in greeters’ ministry this year and the impact she is making there. She is doing very well in her work too. I am proud of who she has become in God.
I really appreciate the variety of friends I have. I have never like cliques and I dislike hanging around the same people all the time. So I really treasure the times I am out of my comfort zone and do something out of just me, myself, I…
It is easy to be totally absorbed with motherhood once children come along…but I guess mothers are still individuals who can live a fulfilling lives outside the home & office. I can be me (not just a wife and a mother but also a friend) and have my own friends. Here’s something to contribute to my mental health. 😀
Something light-hearted:
Iphone for Idiots
Samsung for Smart People
But I told her that I might go back to iPhone because I didn’t like Samsung’s camera.
😛
As 2013 is coming to an end, I asked myself what do I wanna thank God for this year and what have I achieved this year?
I wanna thank God for His goodness and faithfulness in my life. Not in order of importance, I type as it comes to mind. Somehow pregnancy has its effect on my memory.
1. I got to know and work with finance department better. It was a hurdle for me last year and I had a major breakthrough this year. In terms of work management, I did much better this year compared to 2012. I felt I was emotionally stronger in that I didn’t allow my personal issues affect my work performance.
2. Baby’s health was a major concern and stressor earlier this year. I struggled with quitting my job and wanting to look after Izzie by myself so many times. I learnt to trust in God and became stronger. As a family, we grew closer. I wanna thank God for His protection, His healing and a successful open heart surgery.
3. I have never cooked anything other than instant noodles for myself. This year I learnt to cook for Izzie. From puree, I progressed to cooking soups for her. Feeding her solids was a trying task. I am glad she is finally able to accept Chinese cuisine. Hur hur.
4. I thank God that I got over post natal blues and learnt to cope as a mommy with a young baby. I am comfortable taking care of Izzie on my own especially during peak periods when my hubby has weird working hours. Although it was tough, I thank God for His grace which is more than sufficient every time.
5. I thank God for my family. I do not need to speak of my unmet needs. Somehow both my parents and parents-in-law are able to fill in the gap. What have I done to deserve this love?
6. I thank God for a group of close friends whom I feel safe to share my feelings with. Their words of encouragement have lifted me whenever I was down.
7. I thank God for many caring colleagues who prayed with us especially during the surgery period. I couldn’t thank them enough especially those whom I have little interaction with…I was touched when they came to visit or dropped me a message to say they are praying.
8. I thank God for AWESOME. I have killed her with my mushiness…but because she did not allow me to wallow in self-pity and helplessness, I became stronger, more positive and resourceful. She has helped me a great deal in making me a better me. Thank you AWESOME.
9. I switched over to Samsung phone after using the iphone for 3 years. I did not pass my phone to Soo Chee or Pei Pei to customize. I learnt to do it for myself. I learnt to solve issues on my own. For that I am very proud of myself. #menotageek
10. I thank God for my hubby. I hadn’t made things all easy for him. I am usually alright handling things on my own. But I am overwhelmed, I manifest it all out on him and he was gracious enough to embrace the totality of me. He tries his best to provide for this family and to play his part in making this family work. He cooks a lot more this year and I am super grateful to fantastic hubby-cooked meals.
I posted this exactly one year ago and it still speaks to me now.
Marriage is a commitment. It’s success doesn’t depend on feelings, circumstances, or moods – but on two people who are loyal to each other and the vows they took on their wedding day…
Marriage is hard work. It means chores, disagreements, misunderstandings, and times when you might not like each other very much. But when you work at it together, it can be the greatest blessing in the world.
It’s a relationship where two people must listen, compromise, and respect…and a union in which two people learn from mistakes, and willingly adjust behaviors that need to be changed….
Marriage means talking things out, making necessary changes, and forgiving each other. It’s unconditional love at its most understanding and vulnerable – determined to triumph over every challenge and adversity.
Marriage is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals…they are even better together.
~ Barbara Cage
 We are leaving for HK in 3 hours’ time and I am so looking forward to a great time. 2013 has been wonderful and I’m hoping for a more glorious 2014. Happy new year everyone!
It has been two weeks since I went back to office to work and we brought Izzie back to office nursery. The routine started all over again: wake up at 615am and sleep at 12-1am. Beyond tired is the description for me on Tuesdays to Fridays. Just this Thursday, we had CG meeting. It was the first time Izzie slept through the entire CG meeting. Hallelujah! I was tested to stay awake during the meeting. It was a big struggle, I must confess. I was glad I lasted through and was very blessed by the word.
Going out for dinner with friends on a weeknight is super tiring because it means my night ends even later because chores which need to be done get delayed in the doing and you know the rest of the story. I haven’t really been as “S” as before. Motherhood requires an increase in capacity which in its initial phase is really challenging to include friends in the equation. The photo is so apt to describe how I feel at the moment. 😛
I was just thinking: Why is it I am still struggling even after 1 year??? Izzie is 14 months now. Is there something wrong with me and with us? The hubby brought some perspective back. He said we must recognise that we will still struggling for another 2-3 years but it got easier along the way. It’s true. So, Debbie, hang in there! Don’t give up! We can do this. We’ll get better. I still love my friends and want to keep them for life.
We got a shocking news on Wed and that sent me into some crisis mode. I just gotta remind myself to stay positive. To re-bounce quickly.
I had lots of fun with Izzie this morning. She didn’t want to take her usual morning nap after bath. So she followed me (crawled) around the house while I did the housework. She would be delighted to find me in the kitchen or in my bedroom. It’s like a hide-and-seek game she invented for herself. How sweet. And this won’t last forever.
Izzie finished the organic food I bought for her last night. She refused to eat dinner last night and created a drama at the dinner table. She didn’t take anything after that until 10 plus. Her last milk feed was at 3pm. She has attitude, isn’t it? She rather not eat than to eat something she doesn’t like. Haha. But I figured her mood was better today coz she finished the whole jar without a fuss. What a champ me thinks. Heh.
