Wow it has been 4 months since I last blogged. It was very convenient blogging with the WordPress app on my iPad. When I sold my iPad away at the beginning of the year, it was like I sold my soul time away (blogging releases my internal thoughts processes and helps me deal with stuff going on in my life). A few weeks ago, I cried in a cab, reading an entry off Mumseword. I told Jiahui about it and she encouraged me to write about my experiences. I said ok but never got to doing it. It was just too taxing juggling work, family (and BABY), friends and housework.

Izzie had just turned 10 months old on 1 June 2013. She was admitted to KKH on 17 June 2013 because of loud breathing. Docs say it’s broncholitis. A nose swab came back with negative for common viruses. We are not too sure of the cause. The phlegm produced caused breathlessness in her. Because of her previous bad experience which she needed a lot of support (c-pap and bi-pap) very quickly, docs weren’t keen to discharge her. Thank God she is in normal ward all these days without oxygen support, just on adrenaline and suctioning. Her appetite is reduced but at least she is drinking milk. It is also probably good that she is kept in the hospital during this season because of the horrible SG haze situation.

When the loud breathing started on the evening right after we came back from our staycation, I have expected this long hospital stay. Throughout the days and nights at the hospital with Izzie (Soo Chee and I took turns to stay overnight with Izzie at the hospital), I did not once cry or felt helpless. We knew it is only a stronger confirmation that Izzie would have to do the open heart surgery to correct the LPA sling which causes narrowing of her airway. While other children would get better after a few days of flu, an episode of flu in Izzie would be almost life-threatening because of labored breathing. The docs suggested the surgery to correct the LPA sling and possibly the airway if they find complete rings in the trachea during the bronchoscopy which would be performed in July.

We are thankful for friends who encourage us and who visited us. We are grateful for their love and presence.

Somehow while texting Feng this evening, there was a spiritual connection. The Word which she shared was Isaiah 30:18.
But God’s not finished. He’s waiting around to be gracious to you. He’s gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right – everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

During the 1st two hospitalisations in March, I have kinda resolved in my heart that my parenthood journey would be special because Izzie is a special one from God. The only one who is Izzie – God’s promise.
“The journey may be tough but God has given you both a great great gift in Izzie…”

Somehow something broke tonight. I’ve got to let my defences down. I’ve got to come back to God and let Him in my life again. There seems to be no solution in the carnal mind but God holds EVERYTHING together. There is always HOPE for a supernatural miracle. He has done it and He will do it again. I may not always understand the stuff that is going on but I will learn to trust His heart. Let us make Godly decisions, and be at peace, my soul – My prayer for this season.