Monthly Archives: August 2013

Day 5: Homecoming

I got a call from the nurse at CSDU at 9am this morning. She said doctors have cleared for Izzie for go home! Hallelujah!!!

When we saw Izzie, she was in the arms of a nurse. Obviously she has been crying for someone to carry her. Awww. The nurse told us that they have removed her dressing, cleaned her and fed her. We could change her out of her hospital clothes to home clothes. Whoopee! We waited for the pharmacist to come with the medication (which is just paracetamol). Then the nurse gave us the discharge summary, health booklet, follow up appointment letters and feedback form. And off we go!!! Izzie’s ah ma & ah gong (my in laws) greeted her at the lounge and together, we made our way home. Praise the Lord for a successful surgery and speedy recovery. Izzie is a champ and I am so proud of her.

My parents came over to see her as well. What a warm welcome home for Izzie. 😛

Izzie is a reminder of the goodness of God!

Day 4

Day 2 post op

When we arrived at KKH CSDU this morning, the nurse told us that they offed the morphine. Izzie was being fed more milk today. The nurse made 95ml of milk for Izzie this morning instead of the pathetic 20ml yesterday. Izzie finished 50ml of milk.

I fed Izzie cereal for lunch. She only took 3 spoonfuls. Urine catheter, central venous line and feeding tube were taken off by 130pm, leaving just a standard IV plug in her left wrist. Docs are happy with her progress and they are planning to discharge Izzie by tomorrow. Praise the Lord! I got to carry Izzie in my arms again!!! What a joy! We couldn’t cuddle her since Wednesday because there were too many lines on her.

Izzie finished 95ml of milk at 430pm, at 8pm and at 1030pm. Hooray, champ!

Izzie first turned to her side towards the later part of the afternoon, then she tried tummy time, progressed to sit up and finally decided to stand up. It was as if she was testing her limits. Such a wise baby I think. 🙂

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Aunty Shirley and Aunty Lee Lee came by during lunch and prayed for Izzie. Joanna and Jeremiah came during dinner. I am just super thankful for the church family. We are indeed surrounded by prayers and love!

I have been meditating on God’s address: He lives in my heart. Looking forward to Izzie coming home tomorrow. Yeah!

 

Day 3

We had a good night’s rest. When we arrived at the Children’s Intensive Care Unit (CICU), Izzie was asleep and the nurse wasn’t around. But we saw a portable TV by her bedside. So I chose to believe that she was more awake and alert and they had to keep her entertained. Hehehe.

Victories today:
1. She went off oxygen which was put on her after they took out her breathing tube yesterday. She is breathing totally on her own and is able to maintain good oxygen saturation.
2. They took out the two tubes from her chest (for drainage of fluids).
3. She was fed 20ml glucose and tolerated well. Not enough in fact. Finished in seconds and cried for more. But they couldn’t up the volume because they didn’t want to stress the heart.
4.Another IV line, the arterial line (for measuring real time BP and blood drawing) has been removed + rectum thermometer was removed.
5. Izzie was moved out of CICU into Children’s Step Down Unit (CSDU) at 5pm today!
6. Izzie was given 20ml of milk at 8pm! First milk since 27 Aug, 1030pm!

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What remains are the central venous line on her neck and the urine catheter. They are still measuring her output volume because it is borderline. One of the side effect of morphine. They are gradually her weaning off this painkiller.

God is good and Izzie is a fighter!!

Pastor Yong came by at noon to pray for Izzie. Wendy, Ting Ting, Audrey and Schumann bought lunch for us and an Elmo balloon for Izzie. My mom brought us dinner. I am grateful for them.

The hospital business office called us in the afternoon and asked if we wanted to downgrade Izzie from B2 to C class. Regardless of class (except A class which is not subsidised) the level of care at CICU, High Dependency (HD) ward and CSDU is the same. This means we get the same treatment despite paying less. Praise God! Psalm 23 became a living word to me: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

While waiting this afternoon, I wandered off again to my spot in the garden but it rained and was wet so I went off to another place. There I re-watched last weekend’s service. My faith was built up. When I came back to CICU, the nurse informed me that they were preparing to move Izzie out of CICU to CSDU.

Keep speaking and thinking positive!

Since Izzie was born, she has been to all children’s hospital units: Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), Special Care Nursery (SCN), normal children’s ward, HD ward, CICU and now CSDU. Indeed she is going places!!! She will proclaim God’s goodness and mercy.

Day 2


I left Izzie at the OT from 8.30am. Waited till almost 3pm before I got a call from KKH CICU that they have settled Izzie and we could go in and see her. In between, PAZ came to pray with us. It was a great comfort. We also went online shopping for baby clothes and stuff…just a little distraction from the intensity felt during the surgery. We were already prepared to see many tubes on her the night before when we had the orientation with the ICU staff nurse. I was ready. When we saw Izzie, she looked good!!! Better than expected. The doctors were happy and said that she was stable for the surgery and would be expecting her to be stable in recovery. Praise God. I am thankful for the church family who supported us and prayed with us throughout the entire time. Jeffrey came after dinner. Pastor Eileen, Connie and Joanna Sin came shortly after. Blessed by their presence.

We couldn’t stay over by Izzie’s bedside at the ICU because there were too many machine around so we decided to come home to rest. Tomorrow is a new great day! Just before we left, the doc removed her breathing tube. Praise the Lord! One tube down. Counting victories one at a time. Izzie wears the victor’s crown!

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I had some me time with God just before PAZ came. I wandered off on my own and ended up in a garden. While absorbing God’s presence, He told me that if He could take care of birds and plants, what more Izzie? I could trust in Him to take care of Izzie and of us, even our untold needs.

Day 1

I decided to write entries to journey the entire process of hospitalization. Let’s hope I keep through this being as real as I can be.

It has been 24 hours since we admitted Izzie to KKH for her surgery to correct the LPA sling. What has happened so far?

Izzie was warded at Children’s Tower Ward 55 Bed 23 yesterday. We went through the admission process, then answered some standard interview questions, went through ward orientation, talked with doctors and anesthesiologist. The ward MO tried doing ECG on Izzie but she cried badly, so they tried again this morning around 6am when she was asleep. They took blood tests in the ward treatment room and she came back crying, hair all over the place and eyes were red. She was ok during the chest X-ray. We went for ICU orientation as well. We were briefed what to expect.

How was the night? I stayed over at KKH with Izzie. She fell asleep close to 1am. I finished up a bit of work till 2am and went to sleep. Woke up at 3am because the baby next bed to Izzie cried very loudly. Izzie was also disturbed for a while but she went back to sleep. It was Izzie’s turn to cry very loudly at 4am. I carried her on me till about 5am and then I asked the nurse to give Izzie her last glucose drink. Her fast started at 2am and the last water intake was 6am.

At 715am I bathed Izzie with the antiseptic body wash provided by the nurse. At 8am they brought us down to the OT. Feng followed us and there she prayed for Izzie. Then only one parent could go into the OT waiting area with Izzie. I went. Soo Chee cried as his heart broke. I remained calm. I let Izzie play with a princess toy car at the waiting area.

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She is one brave baby!

Then the medical staff just checked and confirmed name and that I know what is going on. We were guided into OT 11. It was a pleasant short walk as there were many beautiful murals. At the OT, the staff explained to me exactly what they were going to do and prepared me for what we were about to experience. It wasn’t new. Izzie and me went through this before when she did the bronchoscopy in July. They made Izzie feel at ease then gassed her. She went to sleep and the staff asked me to let go while two staff carried her from my lap to the bed. They guided me to exit.

I have been outside waiting since 830am. PAZ came around 12 plus to pray with us. It brought great comfort to us. Before he came, I wandered off on my own and found a spot at a garden. There I was just absorbing the song Victor’s Crown and praying. There I came to a place of brokenness. I needed God to be real, I needed to trust and I needed my own space to be myself. It is okay to cry.

Soo Chee and I just had lunch and we are back to waiting…

Today marks another breakthrough for me as a mom. I brought Izzie to the Polyclinic by myself. Usually Soo Chee would be around as we try to fix her vaccination appointments at Polyclinic on Mondays. She has some rashes on her body for more than 2 days. Why Polyclinic and not her usual PD? Her usual PD’s (15 mins walk from my house) usual charges are about $50-$70 and usual waiting time is close to 2 hours. I was thinking if I have to wait so long, what’s the difference with waiting at the Polyclinic? So I decided to try the service at Tampines Polyclinic.

I took a cab there (5 mins, cost $4.70) and reached at 2:55pm. I did the registration, brought her to the treatment room (where a nurse assessed if the “rashes” were chicken pox. Answer: No. Then I proceeded to level 2 to see the doc. Izzie was super restless while waiting. There was no play area at the Polyclinic. I waited for about half an hour before I saw the doc. The doc was a nice Indian lady who likes Izzie’s cheeks. Ha! She assessed and said the rashes were probably heat rash or due to some allergy. No fever and lungs are cleared, she said. She prescribed calamine lotion and said to go back to the Polyclinic if her rash which concentrates at the tummy area spreads. Then I went to the Pharmacy to collect the medication and made payment. I was done by 4pm. Total time spent: about 1 hour! Faster than the usual PD! Cost of consultation and medication: $6.50!!!

I used to avoid the Polyclinic because my experience there while I was studying was bad. The waiting time killed! Over the years, the service improves. The system improves. It is really quite comparable to private practice and what’s the perk? Singaporeans get subsidised medical fees which really help us especially when Izzie has lots of follow ups and stuffs. I am grateful to be a Singaporean. I am thankful that God really takes good care of us and meets our littlest untold needs.

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That’s Izzie having a still moment staring at herself when I turned on the front camera on my phone at Tampines Polyclinic today

21 Aug – My day today

I met Chris at Ikea for lunch today. It was a simple and enjoyable time of catching up and Izzie played a part to make it an easy time for us by behaving herself and entertaining us with her little ways.

We went for purposeful shopping after lunch. I bought additional Drona boxes for my 4 x 4 Expedit shelving unit. Izzie’s toys are invading our shelf. It started with 2 then 4 and now, 6 shelves are filled with Izzie’s toys!!! It sure makes me happy to see a neat and organized house. Somehow organization makes me feel good. I also bought 2 throws for the sofa and a floor mat to replace a current worn out one.

Izzie’s a little more cranky today. Could be due to a slight fever she had. Delayed reaction from the MMR (Measles, Mumps and Rubella) jab she had last Monday. She and I battled for slightly more than an hour before she finally gave in to sleep.

My mom delivered dinner. Yummy apple soup. I am thankful that she is willing to cook dinner and deliver dinner to us whenever she can.

Then I prepared Izzie’s puree. Why am I obssessed with preparing baby food? I think because I have more time at home with the temporary work from home arrangement. It isn’t easy making time to prepare baby food with 40 hour work week in office (plus preparation time and travelling time). So I really gotta make full use of the time I have now to do whatever I can and make this a fruitful time of doing things for and with Izzie. I am thankful for the grace.

 

Faith for Healing

The take away for today’s staff devotion: I need to activate my faith for a supernatural healing miracle & I need to come back to a place of prayer.

As the date of Izzie’s surgery draws nearer, undoubtedly I feel just a little more anxious each day. I know that isn’t right. It’s natural and I cannot be in this state of mind all the time. I need to pray for peace. I believe God is mindful of every detail of our lives and I want to trust His sovereignty. I will keep confessing good health, strength and growth over Izzie. My God will take good care of Izzie.

 

139 Lord, you have tested me,
so you know all about me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts from far away.
3 You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know everything I do.
4 Lord, you know what I want to say,
even before the words leave my mouth.
5 You are all around me—in front of me and behind me.
I feel your hand on my shoulder.
6 I am amazed at what you know;
it is too much for me to understand.
7 Your Spirit is everywhere I go.
I cannot escape your presence.
8 If I go up to heaven, you will be there.
If I go down to the place of death, you will be there.
9 If I go east where the sun rises
or go to live in the west beyond the sea,
10 even there you will take my hand and lead me.
Your strong right hand will protect me.

11 Suppose I wanted to hide from you and said,
“Surely the darkness will hide me.
The day will change to night and cover me.”
12 Even the darkness is not dark to you.
The night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are the same.
13 You formed the way I think and feel.[a]
You put me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way.
I know how amazing that was!

15 You could see my bones grow as my body took shape,
hidden in my mother’s womb.[b]
16 You could see my body grow each passing day.[c]
You listed all my parts, and not one of them was missing.

1st letter from mommy to Izzie

Dear Isabel,

You’ll be turning 1 on 1st Aug 2013. You constantly amaze me by how fast you grow and you constantly bring smiles to me by the things you do. I’ll always remember the little things that you like to do: like stretching your legs straight when you are being changed, lifting your legs up 90 degrees whenever you are on your back, exploring things by scratching them, your funny-looking pout whenever you aren’t happy, squeezing your arms towards each other and “flying” whenever you are excited, and your love for standing and cruising and clapping hands at this phase of your life. Most of all, your smiles and laughter make me feel that motherhood & all its sacrifices are worth it.

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My heart aches whenever you are sick, puking and breathless. My heart aches whenever the LPA sling condition is brought up. My heart aches when I know you have to go for the surgery to correct the condition. Yet deep inside there is a peace that I couldn’t comprehend. A peace that everything is gonna be alright. A confession that I was made to say even when you were still inside me. It’s God’s peace which surpasses all understanding. Through the many hospitalisations, I have seen so many babies and children crying, fussing and terrified. But I only saw a brave girl in you. You do not cry unless there is a reason to: like you are feeling really hungry or your poo is making you so uncomfortable or when the thing that you dislike most is being practised on you: suctioning to remove secretions.

From a little baby of 2kg, I have seen you grown to 8.5kg now. From being needing to cradle you, you develop neck muscles, then you learn to sit on your own, then sit up straight then crawl and now you stand tall and proud! You are even taking baby steps! You have grown so much more observant and you are so inquisitive just like how daddy prayed for you to be. Taking care of you is not without its challenges but you have been easy just like how mommy wished you to be that’s why the short form name Izzie. You are happy most of the time and you are a very sociable baby. I am so proud to see you grow and to see you overcome milestones in your life. I enjoy the times I get to spend with you. It is never wasted. Those are bonding moments. You have a gentle and quiet spirit like how I prayed for you to be.

As the day draws to a close, mommy wishes you a LOVELIEST 1ST BIRTHDAY once again. It has been an awesome year with you and I know many awesome years will come. You will grow up healthy, strong, happy, wise and standing under God’s Word. Mommy and daddy love you, Champ Izziebub.


Love,

Mommy